I was standing on a foot bridge from Nakasu stretching out across
the river toward a night market that happens every Saturday during
July and August in Fukuoka. There were DJs and stalls selling beer
from different countries, but I just go to walk around and look at
the artists who sit or kneel along the bridge barriers painting
impromptu works handing business cards to interested spectators. A
guy I've met before is playing guitar - his name is Ogawa. He loves
the Delta blues having traveled a lot of Europe and Asia but only
discovering his favorite genre after spending 3 months in New
Orleans, luckily before the hurricane hit. The Japanese passport
allows a maximum of 90 days on tourist visa, and he had heard about
the music scene there and literally spent every single day playing
on the streets and meeting people. Unfortunately, he only plays
instrumental guitar pieces in unusual tunings - I think everyone
should sing especially if you play the guitar, but I understand
because for about 15 years I only played instrumental pieces too.
So I'm standing on this foot bridge looking down at all the reflections of neon advertisements rippling and reforming below in the black water and an older Japanese man chooses to lean on the bridge railing to my left hanging his elbows over the side just like I am. He says, "That river boat is drinking boat. Many tourists drink. Eh? Many Chinese tourists go and drink. But that boat is just tour boat." He gestures toward a narrow river craft docked under an old faded sign that reads "Paaty Liba" in Japanese. I asked him in Japanese if he'd ever ridden in either of them, and he shook his head saying, "So many Korean, Chinese, only. No Japanese ever do." I said, "Fukuoka is an international city!" he nodded and then walked away dabbing his forehead with a silk handkerchief pulled from his suit jacket.
For some reason I think of my friend Andy who always is much more adventurous when speaking with strangers or colleagues he meets for the first time. He has this technique thats guaranteed to make an impression on anyone regardless of whether or not they're an English speaker. It starts with some typical conversation about where you're from and what you're doing, but then the first time you struggle to produce some kind of information: a word or a memory or a mutual friend or place, Andy will insert a joke that 100% of the time confuses the other person for at least a second or two, and then he laughs. Andy always laughs this smoky, guttural, open mouth grin that instantly cures any discomfort and puts you at ease. Your mind tells you, "Well that was close. I think I might have missed something, but this guy saved me. Thanks friend!" And then inescapably, you like Andy. By the way, Andy is from Buenos Aires.
I'll give you an example. I was riding in a ski gondola going up the mountain with Andy and a Japanese ski instructor who I had just met named Satoshi. Satoshi is 10 years older than me and 15 years older than Andy, so using some basic English Satoshi gathers where Andy is from and how much he loves skiing.
Andy asks, "What do you do during the summer?"
Satoshi says, "In Summer? Golf! I work here. Golf course."
Andy says, "Oh golf! You're outside all year then!"
Satoshi says, "Yes! Winter and summer! Is fun! Walking around t ō (and), Hitting ball, t ō (and) drinking beer t ō (and) -"
Satoshi begins gesturing with two fingers toward his lips which is the international signal for smoking a cigarette.
Andy says, "Sucking cock?"
Satoshi makes a confused face clearly recognizing at least one of the two words and looks to me for translation, but I'm adjusting my goggles and looking out the window posturing as though I was lost in some deep thoughts throughout this whole exchange.
Satoshi says, "Please what? One more time please?"
Andy says, "Sucking a cock!" and makes the international signal for oscillating a dick between your lips using one hand.
Satoshi's face contorts to a mysterious cocktail of both complete understanding and complete non-understanding - and then Andy laughs deep and long creating a remarkable resonance as the sound is echoed off the fiberglass windows.
Satoshi says, "Whaaaaaat! No no no no no! Absolutely no! You crazy!"
I finally say, "Smoking cigarettes and drinking beer?" and Satoshi says, "Yes! Smoking! No cock!" Andy reaches over and gives him a few hard pats on the shoulder saying, "I know I know! I was fucking with you!" then laughs again, and Satoshi laughs as well.
Now this is something I would never say to anyone, let alone a newly met co-worker. Let alone a Japanese person while I'm a guest in Japan. Let alone a much more experienced expert in the field who is 10 years older than me! But that is Andy and it gets 'em every time.
Later on, I saw Satoshi down in the staff cafeteria sitting across from me a few seats away, and he bows slightly as he places his tray on the table saying: Tsukaredesss, which is an abbreviated form of a Japanese word that kind of means "you're working hard" but its used as hello, thank you, good bye, good morning, or pretty much anytime you feel like it. Then Andy walks by, and theres no seats left for him at our table, but when they catch each others' eye they grin simultaneously, Andy nodding his head upward lifting his eyebrows as if asking, So how was your morning?? and Satoshi vigorously shaking his head back and forth saying, "No no no no no!" Andy does the same laugh while walking to another table, and Satoshi grins at me still shaking his head and says, "That Andy is so crazy! So so funny!"
So I'm standing on this foot bridge looking down at all the reflections of neon advertisements rippling and reforming below in the black water and an older Japanese man chooses to lean on the bridge railing to my left hanging his elbows over the side just like I am. He says, "That river boat is drinking boat. Many tourists drink. Eh? Many Chinese tourists go and drink. But that boat is just tour boat." He gestures toward a narrow river craft docked under an old faded sign that reads "Paaty Liba" in Japanese. I asked him in Japanese if he'd ever ridden in either of them, and he shook his head saying, "So many Korean, Chinese, only. No Japanese ever do." I said, "Fukuoka is an international city!" he nodded and then walked away dabbing his forehead with a silk handkerchief pulled from his suit jacket.
For some reason I think of my friend Andy who always is much more adventurous when speaking with strangers or colleagues he meets for the first time. He has this technique thats guaranteed to make an impression on anyone regardless of whether or not they're an English speaker. It starts with some typical conversation about where you're from and what you're doing, but then the first time you struggle to produce some kind of information: a word or a memory or a mutual friend or place, Andy will insert a joke that 100% of the time confuses the other person for at least a second or two, and then he laughs. Andy always laughs this smoky, guttural, open mouth grin that instantly cures any discomfort and puts you at ease. Your mind tells you, "Well that was close. I think I might have missed something, but this guy saved me. Thanks friend!" And then inescapably, you like Andy. By the way, Andy is from Buenos Aires.
I'll give you an example. I was riding in a ski gondola going up the mountain with Andy and a Japanese ski instructor who I had just met named Satoshi. Satoshi is 10 years older than me and 15 years older than Andy, so using some basic English Satoshi gathers where Andy is from and how much he loves skiing.
Andy asks, "What do you do during the summer?"
Satoshi says, "In Summer? Golf! I work here. Golf course."
Andy says, "Oh golf! You're outside all year then!"
Satoshi says, "Yes! Winter and summer! Is fun! Walking around t ō (and), Hitting ball, t ō (and) drinking beer t ō (and) -"
Satoshi begins gesturing with two fingers toward his lips which is the international signal for smoking a cigarette.
Andy says, "Sucking cock?"
Satoshi makes a confused face clearly recognizing at least one of the two words and looks to me for translation, but I'm adjusting my goggles and looking out the window posturing as though I was lost in some deep thoughts throughout this whole exchange.
Satoshi says, "Please what? One more time please?"
Andy says, "Sucking a cock!" and makes the international signal for oscillating a dick between your lips using one hand.
Satoshi's face contorts to a mysterious cocktail of both complete understanding and complete non-understanding - and then Andy laughs deep and long creating a remarkable resonance as the sound is echoed off the fiberglass windows.
Satoshi says, "Whaaaaaat! No no no no no! Absolutely no! You crazy!"
I finally say, "Smoking cigarettes and drinking beer?" and Satoshi says, "Yes! Smoking! No cock!" Andy reaches over and gives him a few hard pats on the shoulder saying, "I know I know! I was fucking with you!" then laughs again, and Satoshi laughs as well.
Now this is something I would never say to anyone, let alone a newly met co-worker. Let alone a Japanese person while I'm a guest in Japan. Let alone a much more experienced expert in the field who is 10 years older than me! But that is Andy and it gets 'em every time.
Later on, I saw Satoshi down in the staff cafeteria sitting across from me a few seats away, and he bows slightly as he places his tray on the table saying: Tsukaredesss, which is an abbreviated form of a Japanese word that kind of means "you're working hard" but its used as hello, thank you, good bye, good morning, or pretty much anytime you feel like it. Then Andy walks by, and theres no seats left for him at our table, but when they catch each others' eye they grin simultaneously, Andy nodding his head upward lifting his eyebrows as if asking, So how was your morning?? and Satoshi vigorously shaking his head back and forth saying, "No no no no no!" Andy does the same laugh while walking to another table, and Satoshi grins at me still shaking his head and says, "That Andy is so crazy! So so funny!"